Summer 2023 newsletter
Kyle Johnson, Tanzania
Assessing medical needs near Kamanga
Someone once told me that the only true failure is when we don’t learn from our mistakes and then make the same ones again. I’ve also heard that failure is a much better teacher than success, as that is what creates humility.
On mission, I find myself being humbled on almost a daily basis. It takes many forms with failure being a frequent culprit. I often fail at language, and even when I don’t do that, I fail at understanding cultural nuances. I frequently make the same mistake twice and sometimes I just want to pack up my bags and leave — the ultimate failure.
On mission, I find that failure often bites into pride I didn’t even know I had.
A grandfather babysitting near Bwiru Fishing Village
Perspective is also humbling. Trying to shop for shoes at an outside market is frustrating. A sense of indignation comes over me when I feel like I’m being overcharged. I don’t even want to counteroffer when I feel offended at the “stupid foreigner price” I just got quoted. Why can’t people just put on stickers with the prices? “Way more efficient,” my American mind tells me. “I can teach these people a thing or two about business.” And maybe I can.
But what are they teaching me? I see some kids wearing rags and with no shoes walking down the road. I don’t know where they live, but I’ve seen some of the mudbrick houses in the area, so I can imagine. Suddenly, my anger around shoe bargaining seems ridiculous.
Then I remember that I don’t have to go much farther into town before I run into an old man panhandling on a street corner. His feet are completely deformed, and he can’t walk. Where is my pride now? All I feel is shame.
I am grateful to be on mission. It is humbling. The situations I experience on a regular basis challenge my perspective and can challenge my faith as well. But I work through it.
I thank God I have my wife to talk to and the longtime missioners who live nearby and can lend a sympathetic ear when needed.
Life is a sine wave that cycles us through periods of desolation and consolation. Mission seems to magnify the waves. The good days are amazing. The bad days can be incredibly despairing. But I work through it.
As a joke, I used to tell my wife that I take pride in how humble I really am. Of course, I was joking, but I know that I’ve always been a little arrogant. It has served me well. I’m a confident man that can “get the job done.”
But on mission, I frequently fail to get the job done, or I suddenly realize that I am working on the wrong job entirely.
How do I even know what the right job is, or what the right action is? I’m learning how to know. It is by closing my lips, opening my heart, and by listening. That is what humility is to me. It is realizing how important listening really is and just how bad at it I really am. But I am working through it.
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Kyle Johnson provides entrepreneurial training to vulnerable populations as well as leadership and management training to two rural Catholic hospitals. He and his wife, Anna, and their three children, are based in Mwanza, Tanzania.
Really enjoyed your commentary Kyle and your hard-won insights. Blessings on you and your family in Tanzania.
Thank you Sr. Theresa. We have spoken about you several times since arriving. We appreciated your class so much. Thank you for your words of encouragement and blessings. Anna and I send our love to you and to all the Sisters. Please tell everyone hello for us!
So well said, Kyle. You’ve really articulated well a lot of what I experienced during my time in Tanzania too. Thank you for sharing your experiences and challenges, and for persisting in the immensely difficult and rewarding work of learning to listen (which is my personal lifelong challenge). Many blessings to you and your family!
I appreciate you saying that Anne. It’s nice to know that you can relate, especially since you’ve walked in these shoes before. I thought about you guys a lot this last week when I was at Bukumbi. People still talk about your work there very fondly. Blessings to you and George and to the kiddos!
Good description Kyle. I can relate!
Thank you Francis! Your work in Kenya is inspiring. I also have a heart for working with the incarcerated, so I wish you the best of luck with that mission. God Bless!
Thank you for sharing your personal insights, Kyle. They are very humbling…
Thank you Mary. I’m so grateful that you keep on our writings. We love you!!
Aloha, Kyle….. All of your amazing life experiences have prepared you for this journey. It is your calling right now. Not only are you helping others, they are helping you realize who you are and answering many of the whys you frequently ask. Think about it. You are being immersed in “deep listening,” something which is rarely mastered and is an absolute requirement of becoming humble. Per your words, closing your lips, opening your heart, and by listening you become humble. By being humble, you show up in the world authentically with aloha nui. This is your calling….. listen to the inner voice. You are showing us the way. Blessings.
Thank you Jim. We appreciate you very much. Mahalo Nui Loa!